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Make Sure Kids Have Passion to Play, Sports Parenting Expert Rick Wolff Says
Rick Wolff was working as a roving sports psychologist for the Cleveland Indians when he asked major leaguers about their involvement in youth sports. All said they were concerned about having their own kids participate. They'd seen first-hand coaches wanting to win at all costs. Thus, Wolff began his focus on sports parenting.
Wolff says he's busier today than he has ever been. He is founder of the Center for Sports Parenting, author of 17 books, host of "Sports Edge" on New York's WFAN radio, and frequent contributor to national publications and guest expert on major news programs including Today and Oprah.
Wolff shared this wisdom for parents of elementary-age children:
In a survey of children between the ages of 5 and 12, half said they didn't want their parents to watch their games. Why? Kids aren't interested in having their parents tell them what they did wrong. They just want to play the game.
More than 90% said that they would prefer to play on a losing team and play a lot than be on a championship team and play sparingly.
Wins and losses don't matter when children are young. Make sure the child likes to play the game. Look for signs that he or she wants to practice, wants to get better.
One long-range study looked at bona-fide star athletes at age eight and revisited the same group at age 18. Only 25% were still stars.
When kids leave a sport because they're burned out, they rarely resume playing it.
At age 10 and older, children can handle being grouped by ability in sports. They can also understand the risk of trying out. It is difficult for children younger than 10 to understand why they aren't in the same group with their friends or why they didn't make a particular team.
There are pitfalls for young children on travel and club teams: kids may be heartbroken if they try out and don't make the team; coaches may only play the best players.
When a young child isn't responding well to a coach and wants to quit the team, it's appropriate for the parent to intercede. In a civil fashion and at least 24 hours after a game, ask the coach for help in "solving the child's problem."
It's important for young children to try as many sports as they want. As they experiment, they'll figure out what they really like to play.
For parents of middle and high schoolers, Wolff said:
Varsity is as far as most kids will go in organized sports. Only 2-3% of all high school varsity athletes go on to play college sports.
The biggest jump in level of play is from high school to college.
Specialization at an early age can lead to burnout. Kids who are great athletes will be good regardless of which sports they play.
The vast majority of high school coaches today are excellent. The best ones find a way to play as many team members as possible, so every player can feel like a contributor.
Coaches are an endangered species, one side of a stressful pyramid that also involves parents and players. Conflicts often arise between parents and coaches, with parents feeling entitled to tell the coach what to do. Players, for their part, feel that they're rarely consulted about their athletic careers.
To address an issue with a coach: wait at least a day after a game; explain concerns civilly; allow the coach to respond in kind; know that you may not get the answer you want.
The lesson of Michael Jordan is a good one. When he didn't make his high-school team as a sophomore, he went to the coach and asked what he could do to improve his game. How does your child face adversity?
Some high school athletic directors have predicted that in the next five or ten years, travel and club teams may replace varsity high school teams as the most competitive and advanced athletic programs. College coaches already follow travel teams and showcases.
In general, travel teams don't interfere with varsity athletics. Most high school coaches will allow their players to join travel teams, but they require that kids put school teams first.
Wolff concluded by suggesting that a presidential commission should be formed to study youth sports. Leagues, he said, should embrace a zero-tolerance policy, giving officials total control to remove abusive parents. What do we want our kids to get out of sports? Play, enjoyment, character development, a lifetime commitment to physical activity.
For more information, visit the Center for Sports Parenting web site at www.sportsparenting.org
Rick Wolff was working as a roving sports psychologist for the Cleveland Indians when he asked major leaguers about their involvement in youth sports. All said they were concerned about having their own kids participate. They'd seen first-hand coaches wanting to win at all costs. Thus, Wolff began his focus on sports parenting.
Wolff says he's busier today than he has ever been. He is founder of the Center for Sports Parenting, author of 17 books, host of "Sports Edge" on New York's WFAN radio, and frequent contributor to national publications and guest expert on major news programs including Today and Oprah.
Wolff shared this wisdom for parents of elementary-age children:
For parents of middle and high schoolers, Wolff said:
Wolff concluded by suggesting that a presidential commission should be formed to study youth sports. Leagues, he said, should embrace a zero-tolerance policy, giving officials total control to remove abusive parents. What do we want our kids to get out of sports? Play, enjoyment, character development, a lifetime commitment to physical activity.
For more information, visit the Center for Sports Parenting web site at www.sportsparenting.org